Systems Change
Changing the System We Live In: A Systems Theory Approach
Unless you live as an isolated hermit, making changes to your life will involve others. A famous quotation from systems theory is, "Every system is perfectly designed to get the result it gets," by W. Edward Deming. Applied to making life changes, if we want our part of the system to change, we will need to consider the system in which we live. Here are some thoughts to help.
Understanding Systems Theory in Daily Life
Basic systems theory applied to our lives and families suggests that we influence and are impacted by the people, institutions, resources, and environments around us. Each part of our social system impacts the others, achieving stability when we accept our roles within the system. This mutual influence means that changes, even if they are intentional and good, can ripple through the whole system, sometimes stirring instability.
Facing Resistance to Change
Changing our individual roles might trigger resistance from those around us. This resistance can stem from opposition to our change or discomfort with the unfamiliar. For instance, if we're trying to rid ourself of an unhealthy habit or addiction, those around us might resist because they are accustomed to their roles with us in addiction, even if they recognize them as unhealthy. Understanding that resistance is a natural part of the process can help us navigate these challenges more effectively.
Inclusivity in Change
Including others in our intended change can facilitate mutual support for the required adjustments. Engaging with those around us and getting their agreement can help them adjust to accommodate the change. When people feel involved and understand the reasons behind the change, they are more likely to support and adapt to it. Instead of imposing a change on someone else, we can be working on adjusting our system together with other members.
Embracing Small Changes
Where safety is a factor or one is in crisis, drastic changes are typically required. However, most changes in our lives are better made gradually. Accepting and making small changes, or "taking baby steps" in the right direction, allows for iterative adjustments when undesired consequences arise. Imposing major changes might not only make it difficult for others to adjust, but might make adjusting difficult for ourselves too. Small movements in the right direction can lead to significant changes over time. This approach not only makes the transition more manageable but also provides opportunities to correct course as needed.
Conclusion
Incorporating systems theory into our approach to personal change acknowledges the interconnectedness of our lives. By understanding the system in which we live, anticipating resistance, including others in our plans, and making gradual changes, we can create more sustainable and effective transformations. Remember, every small step counts, and over time, these steps can lead to profound and lasting change.
Coming Up:
Whether you are in a stable, committed relationship or not, we all want to get our needs met in our relationships. We can deny ourselves for the sake of the relationship, but does that really contribute to a stronger relationship? Our next blog is on getting our needs met in relationships.